Just one tiny fib

It always starts out as just one... tiny... fib. How quickly can it spiral? One little fib after another, until there's a messy web of deceit. So often, the fear of telling the truth can be far more intimidating than the reality of facing up to the potential consequences. And so it is with little kids. Usually they have seen or experienced a situation where doing/saying something wrong has landed the perpetrator in "hot water". Perhaps their actions were met with wrath, anger or frustration. Or there was a punishment that they dread. These outcomes would most certainly contribute to a child's urge to fib when something goes wrong. How can we, as adults, foster a "truth-telling" environment? I believe a two-prong strategy is the answer. A) we should do our utmost to allow space for our kids to tell the truth and empathy when they deliver it (as excruciatingly difficult as that is!!!). This does not mean that there are no consequences, it purely means that when your child has the courage to tell the truth, we reward that with an open and calm response.* B) we can talk to our kids about the weight of lies and how carrying them around makes us feel sick. The book Finn's Little Fibs by Tom Percival is the perfect springboard for talking to your children about honesty and the importance of telling the truth.

This reassuring book is the seventh in Tom Percival's Big Bright Feelings series - a must-read series that sparks conversations about mental and emotional health, positive self-image, building self-confidence and managing feelings. Finn's Little Fibs tells the story of a young boy, Finn, who together with his sister, Simone, are off to spend the weekend at Grandma's house. Finn loves spending time with Grandma because she always buys them treats, takes them out for fish & chips and lets Finn stay up a bit later than usual. Finn is always extra careful at Grandma's house because there are lots beautiful, fragile ornaments around but this particular time, he was over-excited and bounced his ball too high. Much to Finn's shock and horror, it knocked over and shattered Grandma's antique clock! He tried his best to fix it but when Grandma walked in, he was so worried she would be angry, he blurted out a fib and told Grandma that his sister broke it. Grandma was curious as to how she reached that high. Finn fibbed again. The next day when his mum and dad called and asked about the clock, he fibbed again. Once he'd started fibbing, he was out of control. With each new fib, a blob appears alongside Finn depicting the weight of being dishonest. He tries to snuggle next to Grandma on the couch but he feels to uncomfortable, he tries to eat his fish and chips but his stomach feels sick. After all the lies he feels awful and wishes he had never told that first fib. The only way to feel better was to own up and tell the truth. He confessed to Grandma and apologised for blaming Simone. All of a sudden, the blobs disappeared and Finn felt lighter. Grandma embraced Finn and reassured him that we all make mistakes - she was proud of him for telling the truth. Finn decided that he would try to always tell the truth and own up if a fib did ever pop out.

Title: Finn's Little Fibs

Author & Illustrator: Tom Percival

What's to LOVE about this book:

• The story is relatable. Readers will be able to empathise with Finn and the strife he is in when compelled to lie.

• The narrative (together with the illustrations) serve as an effective metaphor to help young children understand how lying feels and how it can weigh us down.

• The book explores emotions and helps the reader navigate complex emotions.

• The manner in which Grandma receives Finn's honesty - she could have been fuming and irate after her precious clock was broken and her grandchild had lied continuously, yet she gets down to Finn's eye level, embraces him and thanks him for telling the truth. (A sure way to foster honesty in children).

• As with all of the books in the Big Bright Feelings series, the tone is reassuring and puts the child at ease, both by understanding the emotions at play when something goes wrong, and in guiding the child to a positive outcome.

Favourite Quote:

"Now that he'd started fibbing, it felt impossible to stop!". "Finn felt awful"

Messages:

• Honesty truly is the best policy

• Lies weigh heavy on us - we don't feel ourselves and they make it hard for us to enjoy the things that usually spark joy.

• Tom Percival uses blobs to depict the heavy feeling of guilt that weigh on us when we don't tell the truth. These blobs help children understand the impact lies can have on our feelings.

• The book serves as a good discussion tool for topics such as the importance of honesty, taking responsibility for our wrong-doing, and forgiveness.

*I recently read about a tool, called the 5 minute rule which we have implemented in our family. It can be requested by anyone who would like to own up to something and tell the truth. Once requested, the 5 minute rule requires that the truth be received in a gentle and calm manner. It allows space for the truth, forgiveness and an appreciation for being honest. It does, however, not negate, consequences. These can be issued but without an emotional barrage. The purpose of the 5 minute rule, is to help the listener prepare for the truth in a way that does not discourage the child from telling the truth in future. We have found it to be worthwhile tool to have in our parenting toolkit!

If this book sounds like a welcome addition in your bookshelf, here is a link to buy it:

Hardcover: https://amzn.to/4iOdI57

Paperback: https://amzn.to/4chtsv5